On Prioritizing

I'm so into you, and into myself, that I'm detracting from The One that gave his life for mine.

My routine has been broken. (Physical and mental) Weight has been gained. Anxiety is perpetual, keeping stress sustained.

I don't know what I want anymore.

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To be honest, I am dying to see you now. I refresh Facebook, in earnest and never-ending anticipation for a word from you. God fills and engorges the hole you left in me, but sometimes -- like tonight -- I want to selfishly (and unfulfillingly) have you "complete" me.

Even though there's a God-sized gape in my soul.
Even though only One can fill it, and enlarge it.

Even though I know what I want,
I deter.

Again. And Again. And Again.

I'm sorry I want to see you.
I just can't shake this addiction.

I'm running the wrong way.
Legs stubbornly root themselves to the earth
Yet eyes fixate on the sky Above.

To You, away from you.

we can't be one until He is with me --
first, and Foremost. on High.