Satisfaction

Came home at nearly 1 AM last night. And it wasn't really my home, but my friend's home, because trains wouldn't run that late to my place anymore (and I'd get there at 3 if they did).

Freaking worth it. So freaking worth it.

a) I'm a big fan of this Japanese band that came to NJ to play at a convention.
b) I ran into the lead singer in the hallway, and we got to talk. I proceeded to look like a moron. As usual.
c) When they were at their booth at the convention 15 minutes later to talk/sign posters for a raffle on Sunday, we made eye contact and then she gave me a head nod/bow. YEAH-YUH.
d) Was interviewed by Japanese broadcasters while at the booth.
e) Got to see an epic concert IN ITS ENTIRETY (it was originally 9-10, which I'd have to miss party of to catch the 10:18 train from NJ to Penn), because it magically started at 8:30-9:30 instead.
f) Did I mention it was EPIC?
g) May or may not get my CD signed...depending on my connections with people there.

HOHOHOHO! :D
http://www.stereopony.com/

UPDATE!

Sunday:

a) Got CDs signed.
b) Got picture taken with them.
c) Awesome car ride home.
d) UBER SATISFACTION TO THE NTH DEGREE.

Property

Who do I belong to again?

Day Three (3)

Psalm 34:18 (New International Version)

18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The eulogies have been spoken.
The blessings, regrets, thanksgivings, and woes have been said.
The hearse has made its way to Pine Lawn green,
And starting today -- Mark is laid to rest.

We have been thrown into a whirlwind of 'clocking in' to wakes,
Meeting and greeting friends long-forgotten,
Gazing and praying upon Mark's peaceful face,
Saying and praising the highlights of his life cut short.

Holding and consoling
his Family, his Friends.

each Other. one Another.

a tissue is offered as a tear runs astray,
we don't understand, Lord.
what is "Your Way?"

antipodal, incomprehensible --
"Parents aren't supposed to bury their son."
confusing and mind-losing --
"It wasn't fair for him to die young."

so Why? God, Why?
mutters and stutters scarcely salient in the crowd.
but amidst the questions and furrowed brows,

Faith is dominant.
Love is renowned.

We know not His reasons, incentives, and rationale.
His Grace is enigmatic,
Far beyond the comprehension in man's feeble mind.

yet Our Faith is impenetrable,
Mark's Faith had him saved.

Though we wonder, we cry, we wail,
All power and glory to the Father we hail.

A great man once said...

"Don't feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that."
--Haruki Murakami (Norwegian Wood)

ENOUGH WORRYING!

LESS THINKING, MORE DOING! YEAH!

I wonder if I can outdo the epic proportions of Summer 2009.
Is that a challenge? YOU BETCHA!

いくぞうううううう！！！

On Prioritizing

I'm so into you, and into myself, that I'm detracting from The One that gave his life for mine.

My routine has been broken. (Physical and mental) Weight has been gained. Anxiety is perpetual, keeping stress sustained.

I don't know what I want anymore.

------------------------------------------

To be honest, I am dying to see you now. I refresh Facebook, in earnest and never-ending anticipation for a word from you. God fills and engorges the hole you left in me, but sometimes -- like tonight -- I want to selfishly (and unfulfillingly) have you "complete" me.

Even though there's a God-sized gape in my soul.
Even though only One can fill it, and enlarge it.

Even though I know what I want,
I deter.

Again. And Again. And Again.

I'm sorry I want to see you.
I just can't shake this addiction.

I'm running the wrong way.
Legs stubbornly root themselves to the earth
Yet eyes fixate on the sky Above.

To You, away from you.

we can't be one until He is with me --
first, and Foremost. on High.

How He Loves

I am in awe of His grace;
Right now, it is the one thing that keeps me going.

Feint Feigning

It's been two days since I left my college campus, and two days that I've been under attack.

I'm faltering. I'm weak.
I'm calling for You on the tips of my feet.
I want to see You, I want to feel You,

I want to know that this will pass.

-----------------------------------------------------

I want to know that this will pass.

I want to know that I won't succumb, that I can overcome these jealous pangs and scornful screams. I want to know that I'm capable of compassion and able to love.

I can overstep my boundaries --
That hold me, imprison me in a secular society.

I can compromise myself for You.
But can I surrender it all in Your name?

------------------------------------------------------

The idle mind is the devil's workshop.
And I can feel him tinkering away.